apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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