fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Fuck appropriateness.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
