theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't turn off my feet"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
