She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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