The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Randomize
