Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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