Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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