You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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