He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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