So drunk its hurt
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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