I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
