The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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