How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize