Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i will never coherently bang her
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
