Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
