one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
