Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
