she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
