Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
