butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
