Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
