You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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