Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
