Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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