My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
