why didn't you poke me back
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
