I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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