He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
