Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
