So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
