whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
