I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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