My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
