I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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