He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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