You just made me feel so damn special
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
