Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
