I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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