One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
