she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
ok first of all what the fuck
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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