worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Just pee around me
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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