your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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