i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
