I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
porn star boner night. come get it.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
