Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Randomize
