It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I wish my penis had an off switch
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
