I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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