Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
