Screwed.edu
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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