i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
