All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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