I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The chlamydia really affected his face.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
