I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
