my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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