We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What a dumb baby whore.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
