Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
