Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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