just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize