Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
