I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize