he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
