So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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