but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
