she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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