"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
